A quick review of what is holding you back in your life and business.
1. It all start with what you believe in
You know those emails with subject lines like 5 Reasons Your Business Will Fail, Thrive, or Whatever and A Sure Way to Make 6 (7? 8?) Figures. We’ve all seen them, and the subtext is that someone out there knows exactly what’s missing in your life – and how to quickly fix the problem.
If following someone else’s recipe for success, however, was all it took, we’d all be super successes already. Whether your goal is to make millions, change the world, find a life partner, or anything else, you’re going to have to do the real work involved, and there is no magic bullet.
One thing that I do know with authority, however, is that –
I know EXACTLY what’s holding you back from going after your dream career or business.
It all begins with your beliefs. You’ve no doubt heard all the hoopla about the power of your brain and how your future success rests solely on you. In general, of course, this is all true, but there’s so much more to it than this simplistic soundbite. Nevertheless, it all begins with your belief system.
Let’s look more closely at a few key concepts and their meanings in order to better understand the coaching process –
- Your personal Circumstances
- Your Beliefs
- Your Thoughts
- Your Feelings
- Your Actions (or lack thereof)
- Your Results
2. Nothing is good or bad - until you think it is
Think of circumstances as being true statements that describe your life and work:
‘I commute 30 miles to work every day.’
‘My position requires me to contact my customers daily.’
‘My office doesn’t have a coffee machine – or a kitchen.’
These are facts about your life that carry no emotional weight. A fact is simply a statement of truth that is easily verifiable.
Beliefs, on the other hand, are your deeply rooted thoughts, opinions, and views as they relate to the factual circumstances of your life. Your thoughts derive from your belief system.
'Things should come easily to me' (belief) -> 'Commuting 30 miles to work is too much.' (thought)
'People should come to me - if they don't, it's not on me' (belief) -> 'Contacting my customers every day is neither enjoyable nor necessary.' (thought)
'Employees should be provided what they want' (belief) -> 'Every office should have both a coffee machine and a kitchen.’ (thought)
There are obviously plenty of circumstances in our lives over which we have no control:
'It’s cloudy today.'
'It’s going to take me at least 30 minutes to get to the office today.'
This is never more true ( that we not always can control the circumstances/events) than when it’s about something that happened in the past:
'My colleague was late for today’s team meeting.'
'We didn’t close the deal with the client last month.'
Think about it especially before you start chewing over the past - you can not influence it. What you can influence, however, are the beliefs as they relate to the factual circumstances of our lives. Your beliefs are personal to you and to how you experience the world. Our beliefs are subjective, and they can’t be easily proven:
'I believe people whose commutes are less than 30 miles are happier than I am.'
3. Understand the process
Beliefs propel thoughts. Thoughts enhance feelings and ultimately guide us either toward taking action or toward sticking with the status quo.
Fact: My commute is 30 miles.
Belief: Things should come easily to me. If they don't, it's a waste of my time.'
Thought: 30 miles is too far to commute. I don't want to waste my time.'
Feeling: My daily commute is frustrating, and I should do something about it.
A) Consider working from home
B) Search for a different job/project/client with a shorter daily commute
C) Avoid the long commute by moving closer to my office
D) Take no action. ( not taking action is also a kind of action;) )
Result 1: By directly addressing the issue (I took action), I’ve improved my life considerably.
Result 2: I did nothing to change my daily commute and I continue suffering from it.
Your beliefs propel your thoughts. Thoughts trigger your feelings. Your feelings drive your actions. Your actions lead to results.
4. Target what you can change
If you’re ready to go after success, begin with your beliefs – and directly address those beliefs that are limiting you or holding you back. You can begin the process of ferreting out beliefs that hinder you on your own, but don’t forget to write them down and/or say them aloud in the process. Working with an experienced coach can help you maximize your efforts and can help you shed light on those unhelpful beliefs that you’re not yet ready to identify or let go of on your own. No matter how you go about rooting out offending beliefs, it’s important to recognize the positive effects that doing so has.
Finally, 'whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.' – Henry Ford